Flatter me all you like.

Hopefully, Riley and Éponine were enjoying the walking tour of Sam's home town. Sam thought it was preferable to spending more time at home with her mum and dad, who were quite welcoming, but a bit stifling after she'd spent so long away from home. Taking in the sights of Horizon was more in line with the experience she wanted to provide for her guests, anyway.

The area they were in was fairly rural, just on the border between a residential town and an Alliance outpost. The landscape wasn't so different from Earth: crisp grass, blue sky, a smattering of chirping birds (though different in appearance to common types of birds back on Earth, a discerning observer might note). And true to the planet's name, the sunset was extraordinary.

"Now, my clearance level won't allow any of us entrance," Sam noted as she came to a hill that overlooked the Alliance camp, albeit from a distance. "But I thought I'd let you get a look at it anyway. I used to work in one of the labs over there before I was stationed in Fandom. To be completely honest, I've had nicer work environments, but you won't find a better-stocked lab anywhere."

She bit her lip, wondering if she couldn't make this a bit more interesting. "I suppose we could get a little closer..."

( That's real smart, Sammy. )

[[based on, like, a throwaway line of sam's in mass effect 3. preplayed with the amazing and unbelievably patient filleauloup and 1stinkinpercent and coded up by the impossibly generous not_a_whiner.]]

Yeah, so this weekend wasn't really shaping up to be one of Sam's favorites. Everything felt wrong, and none of her clothes quite fit properly, with the exception of an old Oxford shirt and a pair of sweatpants that she was quite determined to burn as soon as she was back to her normal body.

To keep her mind off of how patently terrible this was, she sat herself down in the living room, browsing news feeds on her omni-tool and nursing a beer. Don't tell her it was too early for beer. This was practically the definition of an extenuating circumstance.

[[open for visitors!]]

Sam was actually a little bit proud of herself for what she'd managed yesterday, which had involved a portal she'd arranged herself (that had picked her up inside her own home, no less) and a spontaneous trip into Baltimore. That sort of self-scheduling of portals even seemed to be on the up-and-up, according to her employee manual, though there was a small chance that she would have overlooked that clause anyway even if it hadn't been.

In any case, she was making her way back today, sporting a new pair of sunglasses as well as her backpack. That had been a perfectly lovely trip. And now she intended to have herself a perfectly lovely day of watching twenty-first century action movies in her living room. Because she could.

It wasn't until Sam left to get her coffee that she realized that something strange was going on. The only reason she knew anything was happening at all was because of that man she saw singing happily about the ketchup stain on his pants finally being gone -- which would have been strange on its own, but when two people joined him as backup dancers, she felt fairly sure that this had Fandom's influence written all over it.

Sam, however, didn't seem to be affected, for which she was very glad. She got home, drank her coffee, and holed up in her living room, playing chess against herself.

As you did.

[[expecting one, but open!]]

Okay! With gotacondition's infopost done, now I can get on with infoposting everyone else! I've got one more never-before-infoposted newbie for y'all, and then I'll make with the recapping of my older characters. Sound good? Good.

( Samantha Traynor: Technical Specialist and Nerdy Lesbian )

( Portalocity And You )

And now for my characters who aren't new!

( Christopher Brink: Jerkass Scientist )

( Alec Lightwood: Shadowhunter and Archer )

( Gertrude Yorkes: Runaway Angstface )

( April Ludgate: Slacker and Animal Lover )

( Michelle: Communication Studies Student and Obsessive Fangirl )

Hello, this is Alliance Specialist Sam Traynor. I'm sorry to have missed your call, but I'll return it as quick as I can. If it's very urgent, I'd recommend sending me an email; that ought to speed things along.